HUM TUM cartoon Funny comic strips

recession t-shirt's : visual joke

T-SHIRT's for recession visual joke**
*
click continue reading to see what recession impact on t-shirts

world's largest build womans

Images of world's heaviest build womans. check it now

Funny Pics

More pics
Download Link

Fox, goose and bag of beans puzzle

Once upon a time a farmer went to market and purchased a fox, a goose, and a bag of beans. On his way home, the farmer came to the bank of a river and hired a boat. But in crossing the river by boat, the farmer could carry only himself and a single one of his purchases - the fox, the goose, or the bag of the beans.

If left alone, the fox would eat the goose, and the goose would eat the beans.

The farmer's challenge was to carry himself and his purchases to the far bank of the river, leaving each purchase intact. How did he do it?

for solution select area below this line
The first step must be to bring the goose across the river, as any other will result in the goose or the beans being eaten. When the farmer returns to the original side, he has the choice of bringing either the fox or the beans across. If he brings the fox across, he must then return to bring the beans over, resulting in the fox eating the goose. If he brings the beans across, he will need to return to get the fox, resulting in the beans being eaten. Here he has a dilemma, solved by bringing the fox (or the beans) over and bringing the goose back. Now he can bring the beans (or the fox) over, leaving the goose, and finally return to fetch the goose.
His actions in the solution are summarised in the following steps:
1. Bring goose over
2. Return
3. Bring fox or beans over
4. Bring goose back
5. Bring beans or fox over
6. Return
7. Bring goose over
Thus there are seven crossings, four forward and three back.

Hilarious Jokes

1. Indian POLITICIAN...!!

An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings.
He asked, "How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?"
The sentaor smiled knowingly and took him to the window.
"Can you see the river?"
"Yes"
"Can you see the bridge over it?"
"Of course", said the minister.
"10 percent", said the senator smugly.
Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to his house,the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built, glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc etc.
"How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in Indian Rupees," he asked.
The minister called him to the window."See the river over there?""Sure", cried the senator.
"Can you see the bridge over it?"The senator looked, was confused, peered closely and said, "No, I don't see any bridge."

"100 percent", said the minister !!

2. Love Letter

Dear Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart
Your husband....!!

His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1.. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2.. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3.. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three
kisses instead of the rent.
4.. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items...........
5.. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise !!!
Your Sweet Heart

3.Men's life
When God had created the world, he called all his creatures together to grant them their span of life, and to tell them how long they would live and what manner of life they would lead.
The first to appear before God was man. And God said to him, "You, man, shall be king of the world, walking erect upon your feet and looking up to heaven. I give you a noble countenance. The power of thought and judgment shall be yours, and the capacity of disclosing your innermost thoughts by means of speech. All that lives and moves and goes about the earth shall be under your rule, the winged birds and the creeping things shall obey you. Yours shall be all the fruits of the tree and land, and your life shall be thirty years."

Then man turned away dissatisfied and grumbling. "What is the good of living in pleasure and in might, if all the years of my life are to be thirty only?" So did man speak and grumble, especially when he heard of the years granted to other animals.

The turn came to the donkey. He stepped forward to hear what God had decreed for him.

The Creator said, "You shall work hard; you shall carry heavy burdens and be constantly beaten. You shall always be scolded and have very little rest. Your food shall be a poor one of thistles and thorns, and your life shall be fifty years."

When the donkey heard what God had decreed for him he fell upon his knees and cried, "All merciful Creator, am I indeed to lead such a miserable life, and am I to have such poor food as thistles and thorns. Am I to work so hard and carry such heavy burdens and then live on for fifty years in such misery? Have pity on me and take off twenty years."

Then man, greedy of long life, stepped forward and begged for himself these twenty years which the donkey had rejected. And the Lord granted them to him.

Then came the dog. To him the Creator said, "You shall guard the house and the property of your master. You shall cling to them as if you were afraid of losing them. You shall bark even at the shadow of the moon, and for all your trouble you shall gnaw bones and eat raw meat, and your life shall be forty years."

"All merciful Creator," cried the dog, "if my life is to be of worry and trouble, and if I am to live on bones and raw stuff, take off, I pray, twenty years."

Again man, greedy of life, stepped forward and begged the Creator to give him the twenty years rejected by the dog. And the Creator again granted his request.

Now it was the turn of the monkey.

The creator said, "You shall only have the likeness of man, but not be man. You shall be stupid and childish. Your back shall be bent. You shall be an object of mockery to the children and a laughingstock of fools, and your life shall be sixty years."

When the monkey heard what was decreed for him, he fell upon his knees and said, "All merciful God, in your wisdom you have decided that I should be a man and not a man, that my back shall be bent, that I shall be a laughing stock for young and fools and I shall be stupid. Take, in mercy, thirty years off my life."

And God, the all merciful, granted his request. And again, man, whose greed can never be satisfied, stepped forward and asked also for these thirty years which the monkey had rejected. And again God gave them to him.

Then God dismissed all the animals and all his creatures, and each one went to his appointed station and to the life that has been granted to him.

And as man had asked, so has it come to pass. Man lives as a king and ruler over all creatures for the thirty years which the Lord had given to him, in joy and in happiness, without care and without trouble. Then come the years from thirty to fifty, which are the years of the donkey; they are full of hard work, heavy burdens, and little food, for man is anxious to gather and to lay up something for the years to come. It could not be otherwise, for were not these the years which he had taken over from the donkey? Then come the years from fifty to seventy, when man sits at home and guards with great trembling and fear the little that he possesses, fearful of every shadow, eating little, always keeping others away lest they rob him of that which he has gathered, and barking at every on whom he suspects of wanting to take away what belongs to him. And no wonder that he behaves like that, for these are the dog's years, which man had asked for himself. And if a man lives beyond seventy, then his back gets bent, his face changes, his mind gets clouded, he becomes childish, a laughingstock for children, an amusement for the fool, and these are the years which man had taken over from the monkey

Interesting Riddles

1>An Old Man With a Little Girl And a little Lamp Was Going
A Man Asked 3 questions from Old Man
1.Wats Ur Age?
2.Wats Ur Releation With This Girl?
3.Wat Is Price of Lamp?

He Replied And Answer All These In one word
What Is The Word?

For answer select area below this line
ans-nawasiii.....

2>Two fathers and two sons went for a Duck hunting.. Each shot a duck but they shot only three ducks in all. How could it be?
For answer select area below this line
ans-it was the grandfather----father----son who went to hunt...so each shot a duck.

3>How could a cowboy ride into town on Friday.. stay two days and ride out on friday?
For answer select area below this line


ans-friday was da name of da horse he rode!!!!

Funny Newton's 3 Laws

Universal law:

" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from
One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "

First law:

" a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy. "

Second law:

" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the
bank balance. "

Third law:

" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite

Prisoners And Hats: Puzzle

Aim:According to the story, four prisoners are arrested for a crime, but the jail is full and the jailer has nowhere to put them. He eventually comes up with the solution of giving them a puzzle so if they succeed they can go free but if they fail they are executed.
The jailer puts three of the men sitting in a line. The fourth man is put behind a screen (or in a separate room). He gives all four men party hats (as in diagram). The jailer explains that there are two red and two blue hats. The prisoners can see the hats in front of them but not on themselves or behind. The fourth man behind the screen can't see or be seen by any other prisoner. No communication between the men is allowed.
If any prisoner can figure out and say (out loud) to the jailer what colour hat he has on his head all four prisoners go free. The puzzle is to find how the prisoners can escape.

For solution of this puzzle select area below this line
For the sake of explanation let's label the prisoners in line order A B and C. Thus B can see A (and his hat colour) and C can see A and B.
The prisoners know that there are only two hats of each colour. So if C observes that A and B have hats of the same colour, C would deduce that his own hat is the opposite colour. However, if A and B have hats of different colours, then C can say nothing. The key is that prisoner B, after allowing an appropriate interval, and knowing what C would do, can deduce that if C says nothing the hats on A and B must be different. Being able to see A's hat he can deduce his own hat colour. (The fourth prisoner is irrelevant to the puzzle: his only purpose is to wear the fourth hat).

River Crossing : Puzzle

Aim:The object is to get everyone (father, two sons, mother, two daughters, police officer and thief) from one side of the river to the other whilst adhering to certain rules.

The Rules:

1. At most two persons on the raft at any time
2. The father cannot stay with any of the daughters without their mother's presence
3. The mother cannot stay with any of the sons without their father's presence
4. The thief (striped shirt) cannot stay with any family member if the police officer is not there
5. Only the father, the mother and the police officer know how to operate the raft

For solution of this puzzle select area below this line

Move No.	Across	Back	Side 1	Side 2
1	Police Officer, Thief	Police Officer	Father, Son 1, Son 2, Mother, Daughter 1, Daughter 2, Police Officer	Thief
2	Police Officer, Son 1	Police Officer, Thief	Father, Son 2, Mother, Daughter 1, Daughter 2, Police Officer, Thief	Son 1
3	Father, Son 2	Father	Father, Mother, Daughter 1, Daughter 2, Police Officer, Thief	Son 1, Son 2
4	Father, Mother	Mother	Mother, Daughter 1, Daughter 2, Police Officer, Thief	Father, Son 1, Son 2
5	Police Officer, Thief	Father	Father, Mother, Daughter 1, Daughter 2	Son 1, Son 2, Police Officer, Thief
6	Father, Mother	Mother	Mother, Daughter 1, Daughter 2	Father, Son 1, Son 2, Police Officer, Thief
7	Mother, Daughter 1	Police Officer, Thief	Daughter 2, Police Officer, Thief	Father, Son 1, Son 2, Mother, Daughter 1
8	Police Officer, Daughter 2	Police Officer	Police Officer, Thief	Father, Son 1, Son 2, Mother, Daughter 1, Daughter 2
9	Police Officer, Thief	None	None	Father, Son 1, Son 2, Mother, Daughter 1, Daughter 2, Police Officer, Thief

Puzzle:Fake Note

Suppose You Are A Shopkeeper, One Customer Came To Your Shop & Bought A Pen Of 100 Rs, Gave 500 Rs Note. But You Didn't Had Sufficient Change So You Went To Neighbor Shop & Took 5x100 Rs Notes Instead Of That 500 Rs Note, Now You Gave That Pen And 4x100 Rs Notes To The Customer & Customer Went. At The Next Day Neighbor Shop's Owner Came To You & Told That "500 Rs Note Which You Had Given To Me Is Fake" So After Inspection It Was Found Fake, Now You Again Gave 5x100 Rs Notes Instead Of That Fake 500 Rs Note. Now How Much Loss Is Paid By You In Total Transaction???

Post your answer in comments:
For Answer of this puzzle select area below this line
Loss to the customer: Rs.400 (returned to customer) + Rs.100 (pen) = 500
but the catch here is that the shopkeeper had got this 400 from other shopkeeper and he also keeps the rest of the 100. (So no effective loss to the shopkeeper yet.)
Now when he has to return back these Rs500 in lieu of fake note he will incur a loss of Rs500. So the answer is Rs.500

Puzzle:Escape From A Jail

You are locked in a jail that has two identical gates. One gate leads to freedom and the other gate leads to death. Each gate has got a guard. One guard always says the truth and the other guard always say lies. You are not sure which guard says the truth and which one lies. You are permitted to ask only one question that can make you escape from the jail. What should the question be ?

Post your answer in Comments:
For answer of this puzzle select blank area after this line
Ask any guard - "which door d other guard wil point if i ask abt the door to freedom?"
if the one u ask is truthful - he'llsay tat 'other wil point to door to death' [ coz he is truthful]
if the one u ask is a liar - he'll say tat 'other guard wil point to door to death' [coz he lies]
so any case - either a liar or truthful u'll get to know which one is door to death.. so u can choose the other door which leads to freedom...

Joke:Interview

Word Power ... Continues.....
Interviewer :Let me check your word Power..
PopatRam :k Sir .....
Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of .....good.
PopatRam: hmmmm..... Bad
Interviewer : Come
PopatRam:Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
PopatRam:Pichlli.
Interviewer : PICHLLIIIII?
PopatRam:UGLYYYYYYYYY.
Interviewer : Shut Up.
PopatRam:Keep Talking.
Interviewer : k now stop these all..
PopatRam:now carry on this all
Interviewer :abe...chup ho ja..chup ho ja..chup ho jaaaa
PopatRam:abe bolta rah..bolta rah..bolta rahhh
Interviewer :Areeee yaaar
PopatRam:areeee dushmannnnnn
Interviewer : Get Out.
PopatRam:Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
PopatRam: Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.
PopatRam:I m selected...Thank u thank u sir

Joke:Letter To God

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, INDIA, they decided to forward it to the President of the India as a joke.

The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.

The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money (Rs.50) to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.

The little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you note to God, which read:

"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes ... "